I know you're gathering data from these answers, OkCupid, and I'm starting to suspect that this whole thing is a ruse to get all the most able-bodied and forward-thinking users to form one vast and powerful team when the apocalypse arrives. It was difficult to find anything humorous from that perspective. Here's what it's like to answer 36 questions that will make you seriously doubt OkCupid's algorithmic magic — and the fate of humanity, while you're at it. Should I only date swimmers? I may have attended an exceptionally accepting school. This is getting suspiciously specific. I mean, I'm well aware that the city I live in, like many now-thriving places in the world where we all live and love and swipe in blissful ignorance, could some day be under a lot of water. If so, the jig is up, dating website robot-gods.
Would he think it was a trick? But in light of all the thought I just gave to the approaching global catastrophe, maybe I should pick an animal that lives in the water? There are practical, insightful questions — then there are thousands of weirdly specific, bizarre, typo-laden questions many of them user-generated that form the weird, dark underbelly of the OkCupid experience. Now that I think about it, maybe? Let's go with the cheating. I cannot account for what I do or do not manage to say at those moments. Though I guess the smallpox vaccine will be helpful when everything starts crashing down. Behind these hypotheticals lurks a dark world. Or weed them out? But this isn't about the melting polar ice caps, is it? Going straight for the big stuff, aka the narcissists. Should I only date swimmers? Answering the questions, you feel as though a strange but benevolent force is guiding you. If things got more serious, the cheating. Once, OkC recommended me as a match to my brother. I know you're gathering data from these answers, OkCupid, and I'm starting to suspect that this whole thing is a ruse to get all the most able-bodied and forward-thinking users to form one vast and powerful team when the apocalypse arrives. Do you know something I don't, OkCupid? It was difficult to find anything humorous from that perspective. This is setting a pretty low bar for possible mates, but I guess we have to start somewhere. In my high school environmental studies class, when studying the detrimental impact a pipeline through Alaska would have on wildlife, one girl asked: But that feels so earnest. Who answers this question "yes"??? If so, the jig is up, dating website robot-gods. It's actually a funny story, involving some old friends and an ongoing joke we share — well, probably not that funny to anybody else. But this OkCupid thing is for finding my forever-love, and forever is a long time to, uh, hold back.
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